I recently received the following question:
"First off, I want to thank you (and Amy) for writing about your experiences with gender dysphoria and helping people like myself understand the issue so much better. Prior to your 'coming out' I had very little experience with transgendered people and, living in a very Democratic state, the little I had read was so politically charged that it was hard to form my own opinions.
Anyway, maybe you've heard about this, but I recently learned that the Washington State Human Rights Commission has adopted a policy allowing transgendered individuals to use the bathrooms and locker rooms that align with their gender preference. This includes locker rooms in schools. Parents in my ward are understandably uncomfortable with this new policy, especially regarding their kids in school. I have some serious qualms with it myself. But I want to try to understand both sides of the issue and I was wondering if you would be willing to share what your take on it is. It's such a confusing subject. Thanks!"
I wanted to take a moment and try my very best to address this sensitive subject. Obviously this post is simply some of my own thoughts and opinion on the issue. I haven't spent more than 30 minutes or so quickly looking into the Washington law and news coverage surrounding the law so I am by no means an expert.
Being transgender, I've personally lived through this issue, and it was an issue even though I had never 'come out' to my peers. I still can't think back on junior high P.E. classes without wincing. I was rejected, ostracized, mocked, and ridiculed for being different. I remember routinely being shoved into the girls locker room and having the door to the locker room held shut because that's where 'I belonged,' only being let out once the coach made an appearance. I remember changing as quickly as possible and just hoping that I would be left alone long enough to leave. Trying to change in a corner away from everyone else, and just feeling so uncomfortable about the whole experience.
That's without even considering how mentally triggering the entire experience is. Being in a locker room is a constant reminder that my perception of my gender does not match my physical sex. I pretty much completely avoid locker rooms to this day. I cannot deal with that reminder, it's simply too painful.
That was my experience without any overt actions on my part that would identify me as trans. Can you imagine how much harder that would be after 'coming out' to junior high and high school peers?
These youth need some form of protection. Enough transgender youth commit suicide or commit self harm already. The real questions revolves around what these protections should look like. Washington's new law is the latest to set some form of protections for transgender individuals stating loosely that locker room and restroom use is based on 'gender preference.' Now, I quickly looked for more details as to exactly what that means and how it will be enforced and I haven't been able to find many specific details. I'm assuming that more specific details are forthcoming. (If any reader has more info leave it in the comment section and I'll amend the post as necessary).
In essence the complaint about the law revolves around the fact that they drew the line at preference rather than tying the law to specific medical or psychological requirement. This idea of a requirement is quite problematic. To demonstrate let's do a theoretical exercise. Let us for a moment imagine (using the
current bathroom binary of male/female) how we could go about drawing lines on
who gets to use what bathroom.
I think the public is generally in agreement that postoperative transgender individuals can use the restroom that matches their gender identity (even Rep. Graham Hunt [currently leading the push in Washington to repeal the law] agrees to that). The question then is where preoperative or nonoperative transgender individuals who are presenting as their preferred gender need to go.
Ask yourselves the following questions. Do we
currently even provide a safe space for these individuals (other then the
restroom they would prefer to use)? Where are these individuals supposed to go?
When considering these questions ask yourself 'Have I ever felt unsafe using the restroom of the gender I identify with?' Chances are that you haven't, yet all over the country transgender individuals are already using the restroom or locker room that matches their gender identity without anyone, including you, being the wiser. A huge majority of the time this is a complete non-issue. A transgender woman (male to female) presenting as female simply cannot walk into the men's restroom without unwanted attention while entering the women's restroom often goes unnoticed.
Another thing to remember is that the last thing most preoperative or nonoperative transgender individuals want is to be reminded that their physical sex doesn't match their own gender identity. Concerns about preoperative transgender women in locker rooms exposing their genitalia to underage girls are largely unfounded (To my knowledge a single example is often cited). Exhibitionist behavior in a public locker room would highlight the disparity between gender identity and biological sex, and would bring about subsequent feelings of dysphoria. In general, transgender individuals try and use public spaces as unobtrusively as possible. Being revealed as trans or an 'impostor' is just too mentally damaging.
In the end we provide enough privacy in restrooms and even in locker rooms that the vast majority of the time this is a non-issue. It's not so much the reality of the situation that we find uncomfortable (it occurs regularly) but the idea of it occurring.
The most sensitive conversations occur around schools or youth facilities. A youth can only transition to a certain extent, while they can be prescribed hormone blockers until a certain age they can't be placed on hormone replacement therapy. Even if they are placed on hormone replacement therapy they cannot have Sexual Reassignment Surgery. If restroom use is consigned to genitalia a biologically male 17 year old who has been on cross gender hormones and now has breasts and looks in every way like a female (other than genitalia) would be forced to use the mens locker room and male restrooms. Clearly this is not a safe space for that individual. But we cannot only consider the safety of the transgender individual, we also need to consider the safety of the rest of the school as well.
Now, I can't find any of the details behind the Washington law but I am sure that there are particulars--especially in a school environment--that help regulate what it means to be officially labeled as transgender. If I were to imagine any policy, I would imagine that there would be a note from a doctor or therapist that confirms the diagnosis of gender dysphoria. I would also imagine that the individual would be required to present in alignment to their gender identity. This should help limit abuses. I would also imagine that penalties for abusing the law would be very steep to discourage any possible abuse.
With such protections in place, I don't think the average person needs to be concerned about the law in relation to children in schools. Far less than 1% of the population identifies as transgender, only a small percentage of those people are actively thinking about transitioning (i.e., if you are bi-gender or non-gender binary or even just too scared of the consequences), of those only a small number have already come to terms with their gender identity (for youths their families also have to come to terms as well) and are ready to transition. The chances that these individuals are in your child's P.E. class is statistically quite small.
Now, obviously statistically small things happen all the time. But I would recommend dealing with this issue on a case by case basis. If this issue were to arise I would recommend the following. First, talk to your child and ask them how they feel about it. Are they feeling insecure or harassed? Are they feeling unsafe? Have there been any behaviors that make them feel unsafe? If they are feeling at risk, than obviously the issue needs to be brought to school administrations attention. Your student should always feel safe. If most children feel safe but your child does not, then by Washington law, a separate space must be provided for your child to change. If enough students don't feel safe then perhaps for that transgender student other accommodations would need to be made. If enough problems arise from this model then the entire model would need to be reconsidered. So your voice is valuable, if it is directly affecting your student's life. But the inverse is also true, if your student doesn't have a problem with the situation, then it ought to be a non-issue.
So in the end, I would say unless you are actively confronted with the issue it's probably not an issue you need to actively be concerned about. If you or your child ever actively feel uncomfortable I would recommend reporting it to the appropriate authority. This issue is still an issue that we need to continue to have a dialogue about and an issue where every one has a right to feel safe. We, as a society, are still struggling to figure out what a safe space for everyone looks like. There might still be some bumps on the way as we figure that out.
On a side note, what I would personally prefer would be to to see gender neutral spaces, locker rooms, and bathrooms appearing in public facilities. It's certainly the space that I would choose and prefer to use (Already I prefer using single stall family bathrooms if available, I find gendered spaces terribly triggering). I also have no problem leaving some spaces gendered for those who are uncomfortable with the gender neutral spaces. If gender neutral spaces were made more readily available I would be ecstatic. These spaces would mean that society as a whole was trying to accommodate people like me in some way. And frankly, any acknowledgement is a step in the right direction.
