Dear reader,
Being transgender there are several questions concerning gender that I constantly find myself wrestling with. I don't feel like I'm male, but at the same time I was born into a male body and am perfectly aware that just because I feel female doesn't mean that I am female, at least physically. In the end I don't really know what I am.
This whole blog is part of an attempt to really work through the problem of 'who am I?' As I think about this problem I am confronted with an even more basic problem. This question at first glance seems to have an easy answer, but after some more thought it is actually an incredibly difficult question to answer. The question is: what does it actually mean to be a man or a woman?
The instant answer is that gender is determined by physical sex and physical sex is determined by chromosomes. But intersex individuals make any attempt to categorize a person's gender by genetics extremely complicated. In fact in cases such as true hermaphroditism where the individual's sexual identity is unable to be determined the ethical medical decision is to allow the individual to determine their desired sex, a sex which matches their preferred gender.
If we can't use genetics to firmly categorize the sex of an individual how are we supposed to determine an internal condition such as gender? We can't use external markers such as pregnancy since for many woman this is an impossibility. We can't use gender expression, clothing, presentation, behavior, desired hobbies either. These traits very so widely that the presence or absence of these traits cannot prove anything.
So what does being a woman really mean? As a Mormon I know that we do believe that there is an important distinction between the genders. But more and more I am convinced that we will find the expectations of gender in the eternities vastly different from the expectations that exist here on this earth. In the end, I don't know if gender is something that we will firmly be able to understand or define here in this life.
I think with many transgender people the following two points combine and can create unhealthy attitudes about gender.
1) I think a lot of trans people struggle with how to define the gender.
2) For many trans people merely being recognized as their perceived gender on a constant basis is enough to bring a vast amount of relief.
This means that many trans people, in an effort to be perceived as the correct gender, grab onto the most superficial means of defining gender possible. This creates the dangerous circumstance of reducing gender merely to clothing, makeup, wigs, appearance, and trying above anything else to be beautiful.
I saw a post on reddit just this week where a transgender individual was bemoaning the fact that after transitioning they just weren't beautiful enough. If they couldn't be beautiful what was the point of transitioning in the first place? This elicited some fantastic comments from cisgender (not transgender) women who basically commented 'welcome to womanhood, most of us aren't what society thinks is ideal anyways, so you can just live with it too.'
I think this is why there is such a large conflict between the male-to-female transgender population and feminism. Feminism sees trans individuals superficially defining femininity through appearance, dress, and behavior where feminism has been fighting for the last half century to change that definition. At the same time male-to-female trans individuals often define femininity in such a way that they get the benefits of feminism while subconsciously holding onto the benefits of masculine privilege. I know that this conflict drives my dear wife crazy. She gets quite upset when she sees trans individuals apparently narrowing the scope of femininity down to appearance.
I'll admit appearance and gender expression is the easiest way in our society to define gender. I'll also admit that I would adore it if the world suddenly decided that gender expression was a lot more flexible. At the same time that doesn't mean that gender expression is actually a very important part of what gender is, nor do I think appearance plays a large role in the eternal nature of gender. In the end I merely think that in our society gender expression and appearance are the most simple ways to define gender. It's not a very satisfactory answer, it's not even a very correct answer, it is just the easiest answer. I think this is important to remember. We shouldn't ever reduce gender merely to gender expression and we should always be seeking for a better way to really define what being a woman or a man means to us.
Kyle
To me, gender really has only to do with eternal familial roles, mirrored off our heavenly parents and the roles they have in eternal posterity and creation. There really isn't much more to gender than this, least of all appearance, especially in clothing. Society is so myopic most of the time. I'm a male skirt/dress wearer, and I also wear some other forms of clothing associated by society as "female" and marketed toward "women." I've written a educational blog I can point people to who want to know more about my opinions and beliefs about my skirt/dress wearing, i.e. my fashion freedom. Society thrusts gender into many many things that are really inherently genderless, and appearance is just one example of a plethora of examples. Really, aside from eternal familial roles, there's not much more to gender in my mind, as a fellow LDS member and believer.
ReplyDeleteHere's my educational blog I mentioned:
http://clothinglogic.blogspot.co.uk/
I really do believe that there would be many less cases of transgender or gender dysphoria of society was less rigid in its gender rules (and enforcement of them) and saw and treated gender and its identity as it truly is, that most things, 99.9% of the time are inherently genderless.
This post touches on an issue I've been really trying hard to figure out. However, nobody seems to have any answers to give me, and I just don't understand enough of the nature of the problem to figure out the rest, I think.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I understand I'm cis male, but I have a hard time conceiving what it would mean to not be. I wouldn't say I am particularly masculine in how male behavior is typically defined, and I wouldn't say I particularly "feel" like a man or a woman except for the biology that I live with.
I assume this is the problem most cis people have when trying to underatand trans issues. I think many of us simply don't underatand how being called by your birth gender can be painful. What exactly is painful about it? How can you even "feel like a woman" when you've never actually been a woman? Aside from vaguely sexist stereotypes, how are men and women really different on the inside anyways?
And bringing intersex individuals into it never really made sense to me either, because that is a different situation on several fronts.
I haven't been able to figure it out, or even find someone willing to try to explain it, so I thank you for touching on the issue with this blog. I'd really like to underatand.
It doesn't seem to me to be an issue of liking to wear dresses or liking typically feminine hobbies. I've heard people say that before, but it doesnt ring true for me. (I mean, I knit, and I've sewn and worn my own dress before.)
I hope I didn't come across as rude or offensive here, that was not my intent. I am going ro continue to follow your blog though, and hopefully someday I'll underatand.
In any case, thanks for sharing. I wish you the best.